A First

Hello to All,

Yes I am still around.  I have been asked to blog about a first that I’ve just experienced.  I think they feel that at my age there aren’t many more firsts for me to experience so we better document it while I still remember it.    Last week was my 37th birthday but this blogs starts all the way back in the first week in December 2008.  While I was driving to work one morning my favorite radio station announced that my all time favorite band was coming to the area for two dates and one of them was on my very birthday.  I almost drove off the road.  I had never been to a real concert before so I decided I had to go to this.  I knew I wouldn’t be available to be on the phone the day the tickets went on sale so I called my sister and asked if I provided her all of my details if she would help me out and buy me two tickets to either location.  Her response…..and you’ve got to love this…..”Well thank you very much.  I had no idea what to get you for Christmas so Merry Christmas.  We bantered back and forth about nose bleed seats, etc. but she just kept saying that it was like it was meant to be.  That Christmas I opened a card from my sister and brother-in-law and saw a noted saying Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.  When I unfolded the tickets I found that I would be sitting 14 little rows from the floor for the Cleveland show of the Eagles on my very birthday!  I cried – I had never been to a concert in my life and I was given some of the best seats possible by my sister.  I told her she had to work it out to go with me and so began our adventure.  I spent the next couple of months preparing for my first real concert.  I kept hoping that it would live up to all of my expectations.  Boy did it!

So the day started quietly while I waited for my sister to drive in.  She works in Indiana at Purdue University and lives in western Ohio.  She got to spend a fun filled five hours driving in to take me. 

My Aamazing Sis! Dr. K.

Once there we took off for some good food, my treat of course, and steak is always good.  Then it was off to the show.  We hit the last couple of miles and ended up in a parking lot on the interstate.  Needless to say I thought we would never get there.  Well, we did and then the fun began. 

I was a total kid about the whole thing.  I decided we had to get souvenirs before we even found our seats.  There I was buying almost one of everything.  In a matter of 5 minutes I had dropped more for souvenirs than I’ve spent on a weeks worth of groceries!  For anyone that knows me they know that I rarely drop that kind of cash on anything for myself.  Then it was off to the seats.  Throughout our walk I had begun to register the concept that there were people of all ages here to hear this band which I found totally cool!  I hadn’t yet seen the humor of the site.  We found our seats and I immediately started taking pictures of the empty stage with my cell phone.  I don’t think any of them really turned out but I know what they are and I know I love them.  Then my sister and I started to people watch.  That was when we saw the foamy white wave crests of white hair in the audience.  And you should have seen those little ole folks work those walkers down the steps.  I don’t think any of them should say they have trouble balancing when I saw the majority of them balancing a walker and a beer in each hand as they walked down the steps to their seats!  Then there were the, “I’m living my second childhood” crowd.  You know the ones who tan WAY too much, think they can still go bra-less, wear fur year round, and broke out the Harley Gold Wing for the special occasion.     My sister and I swear we saw Jerry Garcia there.  If it wasn’t him he had a twin!  There were kids, teens, you name it and it was there that night.  It was actually an amazing sight!  the venue holds 20,500.  Allowing for the one section to be shut off as it was behind the stage I estimate at least 16,000 people were there.  There was not an empty seat to be found. 

Our seats versus the stage

The concert started right at 8PM with no opening act.  It was all Eagles, all night for almost 4 hours.  The music was amazing, the seats were excellent (despite the few drunken derrieres -butts- that were shook in my face by the people who stopped to dance on the way for another beer), the night could have gone on forever.  They opened by saying, “Hello Cleveland! Welcome to the Eagles Assisted Living!”  We laughed and cheered at the same time. 

And so it begins!

They played the old, the new, the remixes.  I’ve never seen so many guitars and so many amazingly talented men.  For having been making music together since 1971 they look amazing.  They have the middle aged paunch and one had little man breasts but they could have been hunch backs playing like that and my sister and I would still have been in seventh heaven. 

Four Amazingly Talented Men!

We sang the words to every single song which shocked me that my sister still remembered all of them.  I listen to them everyday but my sister hasn’t really listened to them in years.  I surprised myself by not crying through the whole experience – instead I screamed like a a banshee and sang like a total nut.  They had two jumbo screens next to the stage so my sister and I became fixated whenever they showed a close up of Joe Walsh playing guitar.  They played an encore that we stayed for.  We were going to make a run for the parking deck after the first song of the encore but as the second one started my sister grabbed my sleeve and said, “We are absolutely not leaving yet – this is my all time favorite from them!”  I giggled and happily stayed on.  On the way out of the concert my sister turned to me and said, “I know Joe Walsh is crispy from all of the drugs but I would totally do him!”  I almost fell over from the shock of it all and then I decided that if he plays a woman like he plays any one of those guitars I would totally do him too!

Joe Walsh with a Hat Cam on.

We got home way late and both were going to have to get up WAY early for work the next day but it was so worth it.  I stayed up most of the night wearing my new T-Shirt and listening to my new CD,  just sitting and thinking about an amazing first.

A Walton’s Holiday…..Really Now!

Every year at this time I talk to my staff and clients about The Walton’s Holiday Experience.  For those of you under the age of 30 you probably have no clue of whom I am speaking so take a sec and go Google “The Waltons”.    For the rest of us, you know who and what I’m talking about – Mom, Dad, kids, Grandma, Grandpa, pets, perfect food and a lot of magically perfected TV relationships.  We all grew up watching “The Ideal”.  We saw people love and help one another; celebrate, dance, and sing.  I don’t know about you but every holiday I would imagine that perfect day occurring in my family and that it would end with Momma and Daddy dancing in the living room while Mary Ellen (played by my sister) and Elizabeth (played by me) would peek out from under the bedroom door to watch.  Our hearts would have been as stuffed with love, laughter, and music, as our bellies would have been stuffed with good ole fashioned comfort food.   Good Lord I wanted that every holiday and for a long time thought it really would happen.  What a goof!  Who I really sat down with at every holiday were “The Simpsons”.   No one should have trouble identifying them but just in case, think of the antithesis of The Walton’s.  The folks were always bickering throughout the day, someone was yelling to shut the TV off, some “essential” food item was always ruined or forgotten and Grandma and Grandpa always went home too soon.  There was always a sense of disappointment that it didn’t live up to my dream.  To put it bluntly – I was pissed that people didn’t do what I had expected them to do.   What a rip off – why couldn’t they be the Waltons?

I like to believe that I’ve learned a lot since then and that I understand a great deal more.  Part of me will always wish for a Walton’s Holiday.  That part of me still thinks that having it will somehow make me whole (there’s some stinkin thinkin).  However, all of me knows that we are just unpolished, imperfect, souls who are trying to reach for better but will never reach perfection.  We don’t have writers, directors, make-up artists, set designers, or camera men to make it all TV ready.  What am I saying with all of this?  I will never meet the expectations of others nor will they be able to meet mine.  Expectations are the landmines of the heart and I will never know that there is one ahead until it is too late.  Let the expectations be the item that is forgotten this holiday season.  Just be gentle by accepting ourselves and others for who we are, ugly warts and all.  We love the best that we can and thank goodness we do.  I know that everyday can be a new season in the series that is my life and not just an instant replay.  Peace.

Good Help is Hard to Find……

and Keep.

I said goodbye today to one of the best staff that I have had the pleasure of working with.  I have to admit that I didn’t think much of this young woman when I met her because her work history was slim and she had several moves within the last few years.  Still, when I interviewed her I felt something that said she was worth a shot.  Within her first month I was sold, hook, line, and sinker.  Her skills were some of the best that I had experienced.  She was dedicated to the mission of our agency, she was a total go-getter, an advocate for the clients and the agency, and her spirit was based in honor and integrity.  During my time supervising her I can honestly say that I never had a complaint, a regret, or a concern.  She was the total package!  She was a gift.

In September she gave word that she would probably be leaving due to another unplanned but necessary move for her family.  I have never seen my fellow administrators work so hard to attempt to avert a loss.  The entire agency pulled together because we all saw something in her that can be such a rarity in this day and age.  She is the only staff that I have said to contact me if she was in the area again and looking for a job. 

We all take something for granted and some of us take a lot for granted.  I try everyday to show my gratitude for what and who I have in my life because I don’t know how long they will be a part of it.  I often fall short, we all do.  Yet I recognize that I have been made richer by them.  I am a Mosaic of all of those who have come and gone from my world sharing the gift of themselves – what a wonderful thought.   Saying thank you to all that have gifted me is not enough.  Sharing what has been given to me is the best thank you that I can give back and is the strongest testament to the impact that they have had on my life.  Peace

A Race Horse on Crack!

So as I mentioned in my “About” page I am a social worker.  Actually, I’m a supervising social worker which means that I am more an administrator and I supervise those who are working towards licensure and/or independent licensure.  It’s an interesting aspect of my job most of the time because it’s like being a teacher and mentor all wrapped in one.  There are times when I miss the direct work with clients (and I’m sure there will be more than one post where I talk about that) but supervising can be a hoot.  Today was one of those times. 

While working through a client complaint with one of my staff today I tried to draw positives out of her experience with the client, our discussion, and what she had learned from the situation in hopes that she would see where I was leading her.  My goal is always to normalize the learning and support their strengths.   I realized she was still struggling so I highlighted the strong plan she had developed with the client.  Then I played a little Columbo  with her because I had read a note that discussed what all she had worked on with the client during one session.  She noted four major therapeutic areas plus the development of the plan all in one session.  When I asked if she had really covered all of that in one session she said, “Well yeah, it was an hour long session!”  I started to giggle until I realized she didn’t see the problem.  I finally responded, “No wonder you reached the point of telling her you didn’t know how else to help her, you pulled out all of your tricks in one session  That session had to look like a race horse on crack!”  With that she burst out in laughter – she got it!

Often in life we expend all of our energy striving for the A+, the quick fix, the approval of others, the instant gratification and we forget that the learning and the growth isn’t in the solution but in the path we take to get to the solution.  She had worked so hard to  “fix” and to get that A+ that she forgot about doing what was needed in the moment.   She believed the harder she pushed her client the quicker she would get that instant gratification.  I wonder what all we miss in life focusing on the end result instead of the journey.  What can a race horse on crack possibly remember about the race if all they are concerned about is getting to the finish line?  Peace

Every Comic’s Dream

     So I’ve decided that I really would be every comic’s dream.  Who else would find use of the information that I am at the end of month 3 in my umpteenth online dating venture and not only did I not end up with a date again, I’m out $70,  and I didn’t even end up with a chat?  It’s not that there weren’t “winks” and “flirts” and more than 300 views from eligible guys.  That was the upside….the downside you ask……..being voted the most popular add in Syria, Yugolslavia, and the Netherlands.  Hmmmm….Can we say Green Card?  I mean, trust me, I was in no way expecting George Clooney or Brad Pitt but can a sista get a guy?  My standards aren’t even that high.  I used to kid about my standards being 1.  Breathing, 2.  Single, 3.  A J-O-B, and 4.  Not living in a nursing home or assisted living facility.  They actually were much higher than that but those were the days when dating consisted of seeing someone face to face, getting to know them because you ran into them during your day to day life so you knew their values, beliefs, etc. were similar to yours.  Now that dating is purely defined by megapixels and txt on a screen my standards really have to be breathing and not in a nursing home.  Online dating is like trick or treat – you have no idea what mixed bag is really going to come your way.  Thanks to my venture on friendfinder.com I have come to believe it’s more trick than treat.  Ewwwwww!  I think I threw up in my mouth a little after that last guy that sent a wink!  Someone should tell him that it’s not cool to have a picture of yourself in a leopard print thong as your main profile picture!  Especially not when you’re topping 300lbs.  I’m surprised any of it showed under that belly.  It’s also not good to let prospective dates know that you’re not packing before you get to the email and chat phase.  Talk about letting your slip show. 

      However sad this little trip has been it is an improvement from my eharmony attempt a couple of years ago when they couldn’t even find a match for me.  Now that was a depressing month!  My friend and I spent an hour completing the profile and with anticipation I clicked enter – ready to see my Mr. Right only to see a friendly little message from eharmony letting me know that “there weren’t any eligible partners at this time but that I should check back often as new profiles are compared daily”.  There I went every day for a month and there I got the same friendly message everyday.  Is it me or are convents looking good these days?  I mean they could at least have changed the message from time to time or given an explanation about what personality question bottomed out my pool of prospects!  I even checked my computer to make sure the page was reloading every time I went to the site.  I couldn’t imagine what in a person’s personality would take out EVERY SINGLE prospect from an entire database.  You can’t tell me there wasn’t even a Jeffrey Dahmer or Charlie Manson out there for me. 

     Add to this WHOLE issue the fact that………I’m aging…..I know it’s hard for you to believe, none of us ever think it’s really going to happen to us.  Then one day we find gray in our hair, an unbelievably long eyebrow hair, and sags in places that were never meant to sag and still be attractive.  The first million I ever win will be spent lifting those things back towards the northern lights.  Thank god for the tiniest of societal changes that keeps me from being a total freak at 36 (and 3/4) and still single but still the questions linger and the looks and comments smack me in the face.  You ask what is the worst that has been slung my way recently?  How about my Mother’s weekly sign off these days, “You work so hard and deserve to be happy.  I just know that I will be able to die a happy woman when you meet someone.”  Oy Vey! the Mother guilt!  So what does all of this mean in this thing called life?  I’m not sure but I guess I believe that there should be some positive to every situation and if laughter and fodder is what I can provide who am I to withhold the material?  I’ld rather be a comic’s dream than no one’s.  Peace